


A Woman's Place (Is In The Revolution)

by Gryffindancer



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy and Tony are bros, Everyday sexism, Feminism, Feminist Darcy Lewis, Feminist Thor, Gen, No Apologies, Ranty fic got ranty, Sexism, catcalling, fuck the patriarchy, gratuitous cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4969414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gryffindancer/pseuds/Gryffindancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy is fed the fuck up with this sexist bullshit!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this thing happened, where I'm a huge fucking feminist because I have a vagina so like, duh - but then this kind of/sort of mini plotbunny happened and I just started writing.
> 
> Basically Darcy Lewis is a feminist because how the actual hell would she not be, and she's sick to death of Everyday Sexism being super fucking shitty.
> 
> I would apologize for the gratuitous cursing, but I'm not going to, because women are socially conditioned to apologize too much and also, fuck the patriarchy.

"I don't see the problem, Lewis!" Tony held his hands up defensively as Darcy angrily punched in the security code to take them from the parking garage up to his workshop.

"Tony, you are the problem!" She huffed, pushing her glasses up her nose. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. What he had done pissed her off, but the fact that he couldn't understand her anger was making her exponentially angrier.

Tony's eyebrows went so high that it looked almost cartoon-esque, "What!? It was a compliment! I was complimenting her!"

Darcy pivoted quickly to face him in the small space, nearly spilling the tray of coffees she held as she did so, "CATCALLING IS NOT A COMPLIMENT, TONY!" She was shouting and backing him into the corner of the elevator.

"But all I said--"

She cut him off, holding a hand in front of his face, "All you did was disrupt a young woman's walk down the street by yelling at her from your car that she had a nice ass!"

"Right! I was complimenting her!" Tony shrugged, as the elevator slowed to a stop and the doors opened into his workshop.

"No! You were inviting her to feel threatened!" Darcy shouted after him. He had jumped off the elevator as quickly as possible, but she was right behind him.

"What!?" He turned around in surprise, "But I-- I'm-- I'm Iron Man! I protect shit! It's kind of my thing. My shtick."

Darcy sighed and lowered her voice slightly, "Yes, but she might not realize that right away. All she knows in the moment, is that there is a man -- who is almost definitely physically bigger and stronger than her -- shouting something at her. She literally doesn't know anything else about you in that moment. She doesn't know that you're bazillionare Tony Stark and therefore Iron Man. Or that Fruity Pebbles are your favorite cereal, but Cocoa Puffs run a close second. Or that you have a secret love for caramel mocha frappuccinos. Or that for all the ungodly expensive scotch and whiskey you drink, after three margaritas you'll jump up on a table and perform a Coyote Ugly bar dance that will give all your friends nightmares for a month."

She sucked in a deep breath to keep going, "She doesn't know anything about you, which includes not knowing if you would insult her, or try to follow her, or touch her, or attack her. She doesn't know if you're mentally stable, or off meds you're supposed to be on, or if you're a serial rapist or murderer.

"Yes, these are extreme possibilities but if she knows nothing about you, then they're each a possibility that could potentially inform your reaction to her, no matter how she reacts to your 'compliment' in the moment."

Tony was struck silent by her rant. It was a true rarity of events that he had nothing to say in that minute.

Darcy took a step closer to him and held out his coffee as a sort of peace offering, "And _that_ , Tony, is what makes catcalling -- no matter how well intentioned -- a threat."

Tony sat down heavily on the plush microfiber couch and ran a hand through his hair while staring at the floor, "Shit, Lewis." He looked at her then, "Does that shit really make you feel threatened?"

Darcy sat down next to him, clutching her own coffee, "Tony, if some total rando on the street just yells at me that I have a nice rack? Yes, I feel threatened. Because I don't know if he's gonna try to come up and cop a feel because I acknowledged his comment, or threaten to kill me because I ignored his comment. And god knows that both of those things have happened before." Tony's eyes widened slightly, "But if you tell me I have a nice rack? Well hey, I know you. We're bros. And I know you're just messing around, and that you'd never try to hurt me. But I don't know that about any random asshole on the street."

"God, I'm sorry Lewis." Tony looked thoroughly admonished. "Really."

"It'll be okay, if you just don't do that kind of thing again." she smiled at him, "You know, people often say that you should respect women because every woman is someone's mother, or daughter, or sister. But frankly that's bullshit. You should simply respect a woman because she's _someone._ "

"That's deep, Lewis." Tony held out his fist to her, "I'm sorry. And hey, It won't happen again."

Darcy bumped his offered fist with her own. "All I'm askin', Iron Dude."

"But I can still compliment your tits, right? Because, seriously - Yowza!"

She rolled her eyes but smiled anyways, "You're a piece of fucking work, Tony."

He threw her a cocky wink and sipped at his coffee, "Don't I know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so also I think this might have a couple future chapters.
> 
> I get the feeling that Darcy needs to school Clint on why slut-shaming is total bullshit (please refer to Jeremy Renner's headdesking interview on Conan).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a HUGE thank you to everyone who has read, and kudos'ed, and commented, and bookmarked! I'm so happy that this one has gotten such a wonderful response! Hugs and feminism for everyone!
> 
> Also, another huge thank you to Laci Green, sex ed activist & YouTuber (Sex+), who posted a tumblr article about this exact topic the exact same day I was trying (read: struggling somewhat) to eloquently put so many of these thoughts into words. So some bits of this chapter are paraphrased slightly from her, because she's amazing and so ridiculously intelligent.
> 
> Also also, credit to _feministdykeslut_ and _youarenotyou_ on tumblr for an incredible thread I found with their thoughts on the subject. Some paraphrasing from those thoughts by them as well, because when someone lays something like this out perfectly and eloquently and with a great grasp of clarity, it's hard to one-up that. You all are wonderful and amazing!

Darcy and Clint were in the middle of one of their self-proclaimed Mario Kart tournaments. Darcy was just barely holding out in front of him, and he was using every trick he knew of to distract her. But the thing that ultimately ended up shifting her focus, was something completely unintentional on his part.

"So I'm just saying, she looked like a total slut."

Darcy's hands stopped moving on the controller and she spun to face Clint. The look she gave him could have cut glass.

"You did not just say that. Please tell me you did not just say that."

"Yes!" He shouted as he easily pulled out in front of her halted kart on the screen, "What? What did I say?" He gave a couple of confused glances her way, as he continued to play.

Darcy sighed, and set her controller in her lap, instead using one hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I expected better from you Barton."

"Darcy, what the hell did I say that was wrong?" Clint really clued in now, and set down his controller too. He looked genuinely confused, and it fanned the flames of anger that were raging away behind her sternum.

Her glare intensified, "You called her a slut."

"No," Clint started hesitantly, "I said she looked like a slut. I never--"

"It's the same damn thing, Barton!" Darcy shouted, throwing up her hands in exasperation, "Besides, that statement still implies that the way she was dressed has some sort of bearing on her character as a person."

"Jesus, Darcy. It's a joke."

"Oh, gotcha. It's just a joke." Darcy nodded sardonically, "So it's just a joke if I'm at a party, or walking down the street and I get attacked and raped, but I was wearing a short skirt -- I was dressed like a 'slut' -- so I was clearly asking for it. That's just a joke, right?"

Clint looked affronted, "God, Darcy, no! That's not what I was--"

"Yes, Barton that _is_ what you were saying. Because so often the word 'slut' is used to take away a woman's autonomy. _'Oh, she's a slut so she was asking for it,' 'Oh, she had an abortion because she's such a slut,' 'Oh, look at the tits on her! She must be a total slut!'_ "

Darcy shifted on the couch until she was facing him with her legs curled beneath her. "When a guy has a lot of sex, he’s praised. He's a 'player,' a 'pimp' -- terms that are, by the way, recognized as controllers of women. But if a woman behaves the same way, she’s a 'slut,' a 'skank,' a 'whore,' 'dirty.' And those names come with the implication that she doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect. It sends the message to men that women who have sex are sluts. And if you're with a slut you can do whatever you want to them, because they are not whole, feeling, thinking human beings. They're just objects to be fucked.

"And it sends the message to women that sex is bad. That having sex is the worst thing you can do. It even causes internal sexism, because women will judge other women for being 'sluts.' It's horrible, but it comes from the fact that women are taught that if you're sexual you don't respect yourself. If you're sexual, you will be hated. Which is bullshit, because sex is fun! Sex feels good! And how the actual and literal fuck are you respecting yourself by denying yourself good things!?"

Clint seemed to be considering what Darcy was saying to him. The look on his face was serious, and made him look his age -- his usual joking and carefree attitude often making him seem younger than he was.

"Slut shaming is a real and terrible thing, Barton. It comes from socially inherent sexist ideas about what a woman is allowed to do in the first place. It objectifies women by taking away their bodily autonomy; By saying 'the way you choose to express your sexuality makes you less of a person.' However, if a man chooses to express his sexuality in the exact same way, then it makes him _more_ of a person."

Darcy put a hand on his arm and continued, "It's harmful to men too, not only because it reinforces those toxic ideas about women. But also _because_ it says that men who have more sex are more worthy of personhood. That men who haven't had sex, or don't want to have sex are less of men -- that they are valued on the same level as women, which of course is inherently _less than._ "

"Fuck, Darcy. I didn't mean it like that, I swear."

"I know you didn't, but using that word as a descriptor for women reinforces a system that hurts women and delegitimizes their struggles. You love me right?"

"Yes, Darce, you're my best friend."

"Then don't buy into a word that makes my life harder. A word that means that if I were raped, someone could simply write it off as being my fault because I looked like a slut."

"Shit. I'm sorry, Darce." He leaned forward until their foreheads bumped into each other.

She looked him in the eye, "It's cool, Barton. Because you're not gonna do it again right?"

"Right."

"Cool." She whipped back around to face the screen and picked up her controller, scrolling through the settings to start a new game. "Because I'm gonna kick your ass on the Rainbow Road."

"Fuck." Clint hated the Rainbow Road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should we talk about gender roles and socially conditioned gender expectations next? Because I feel like we should talk about gender roles and socially conditioned gender expectations next.
> 
> Might be a couple of days, but I have **plenty** of thoughts on the subject, lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just when I was feeling really wonderful about the overwhelmingly positive response I've been getting to this work, the MRAs pop out of the woodwork.  
> That's just about how I feel with society these days too, actually. The confederate flag is declared unconstitutional: Yay! The supreme court rules in favor of marriage equality: Yay, Love wins! And then Donald Trump says literally anything, and my faith in humanity slips again.
> 
> I got this lovely comment on the last chapter, telling me that catcallers shouldn't have to stop catcalling just because it makes some people feel threatened. Because, and I quote, "feeling threatened is normal" (headdesk, headdesk, headdesk). They also told me that while women who dress sexy aren't sluts, "duh," if you dress sexy and get unwanted attention then it's your fault.
> 
> So while you might catch more flies with honey, why the fuck would I want to catch flies? I'm not trying to catch flies, I'm trying to dismantle a long-standing system of patriarchal ignorance. So I encourage you to check out and read my responses to their comments. I absolutely don't want to encourage people to insult or tear down this commenter (to be clear, please _don't_ do that) but this is a perfect example of the mentality that this story is in opposition to.
> 
> People often say, "Well you won't change their minds." And yes, I probably won't change their mind from reading my responses to their comment. But if I keep repeating that message, and others keep repeating that message, over and over again, it just might start to change their mind months from now, or a year from now, or five years from now. But they can never understand why their mindset is flawed if they're never taught why their mindset is flawed.
> 
> So here's a picture:  
> 

Darcy and Thor were out for fifty cent wing night at their favorite bar. Buffalo wings were one of Thor's favorite Midgardian discoveries thus far, and the discount night was just about the only time he wouldn't break the bank getting his fill. Jane sometimes joined them, but tonight she ended up on a Science! bender and refused to come up for air. So they had decided to make it Inclement Weather Sibs Night (a phrase Darcy thoroughly planned on coining -- Thunder Bro and Lightening Sister; it just worked).

Darcy was planning to treat, since Thor had bought them fro-yo the last time Jane was down for the social count like this, and she had her debit card already in her hand to signal to the waiter that they were ready for the check.

He came over to their table, and handed the black bill folder to Thor. "Here's the check, sir. Whenever you're ready."

Darcy raised her eyebrows, "Hey, dude. Come on. Did you not see the card in my hand? Or the way I reached for the check? I'm paying, thanks."

The waiter looked at her, the tips of his ears going pink.

"Sorry ma'am. I'll be right back." He said nervously, taking the bill folder with her card and practically bolting back to the kitchen.

When he returned, Darcy still left him a generous tip. Despite his unfortunate habits, she'd waited her fair share of tables in her day, and refused to short anyone when it came to tipping.

"It was very kind of you to leave gratuity despite your scruples with the waiter." Thor said as they stood to leave the bar.

Darcy shrugged her jacket on, "Yeah well, I figure he's still gotta pay rent. And as frustrating as it is, you can't entirely blame people for their socially conditioned ideas about gender expectations. He probably didn't mean anything by it."

He had his head cocked to the side curiously, "I have heard you use that term before. But I am afraid I do not fully grasp your use of it."

"Oh," Darcy started, as the began walking back to the tower, "Social conditioning just refers to the way that people are raised influencing their own beliefs and practices in life. Like, just now with the waiter and the check. I don't know how it is on Asgard, but here on Midgard, we're often taught that it's the man's responsibility to pay for things. Which comes from the antiquated sterotype that women are supposed to be the nurturers, and men are supposed to be the providers. Which would mean that the man would take care of the money that he went out and earned. In fact, it used to be far more common, but even now, there are still some super fancy restaurants where they give the women a menu without any prices listed in it, and the men are handed a version with the prices, because it's assumed that the men will cover the bill."

Thor nodded in understanding, "That is something I have noticed in similarity between our two realms. On Asgard, while it is commonplace for women to be caretakers and nurturers, it is just as common for them to be warriors. Though they do not always receive the same recognitions or accolades as their male counterparts."

"Oh yeah, I bet your friend Sif has to deal with a lot of that crap."

"Indeed. The lady Sif is a fearsome and powerful warrior, but she faces an unfair amount of pressure to give up fighting for marriage and childbearing. Something for which she has little to no interest."

Darcy rolled her eyes, "Isn't that the damn truth. If men decide they don't want to have kids, then nobody bats an eye. But if a woman decides she doesn't want to have kids, then everybody loses their fucking minds."

"Sif has previously expressed her frustrations to that same point." Thor tucked his hands into his pockets and continued, "Were Fandral to decide he never wanted children, others would assume he only wishes to dedicate his life to defending the realm. Though, many have told Sif that she would be missing out on living a full life if she never bears children."

"Exactly!" Darcy was glad that Thor had such a well informed opinion on such an important subject. He clearly understood how the women in his life were affected by such toxic stereotyping, and it made her feel better. "People assume that all women inherently _have_ to want kids, and it's just not true. Kids are great, but they're not for everyone. And some people like kids, or are great with kids, but never want kids of their own. And if those people happen to be women, then they're told _'Oh well, someday you'll want kids,'_ all because we are socially conditioned to believe that women are naturally supposed to be the caregivers. Up until middle school, I assumed I was going to have kids someday. Just because that's what people did when they grew up. But then I realized one day, that I don't _have_ to have kids if I don't want to."

"Do you indeed want to do so?"

"I still don't know if I will or not. But the point is that I should be able to make that decision for myself, without feeling social pressure just to make sure my uterus lives up to its full potential. Especially since men don't have to deal with that same pressure, simply because they can't pop the kid out themselves." Thor tipped his head back and gave a deep rumbling laugh. Darcy smiled, "You wanna know one of my biggest pet peeves?"

"I am not aware of this Peeve you speak of. Is it some sort of familiar?"

"Oh um, reference barrier again. Let me try a different one: You wanna know something that bothers me?"

"What might that be?"

"When men stay home with their kids and call it 'babysitting.' Watching their own damn children isn't 'babysitting,' its _parenting._ It's basically right in the job description. If you spawn a child, then you have to watch it, and change it, and feed it to make sure it doesn't die. Women are just expected to do those things all the time, but men are congratulated for doing any small portion of those tasks."

"The fulfillment of such responsibilities should be expected of both parents. And such assumptions to the ability of men to be nothing aside from providers must do them a disservice."

Darcy threw up her hands, "I know, right? And it goes back to the paying-for-shit thing. For a long time when I was a teenager, every time I went on a date, I assumed that my date was going to pay for everything. Eventually I realized what bullshit that is -- I ate half the meal, so why shouldn't I at least offer to go Dutch? But there are still some guys who will get pissed at me if I try to pay, or if I offer to split the bill with them. They're socially conditioned to believe that it's their job to provide, to the point that they get defensive if -- heaven forbid -- a woman tries to help. And then they try to pass it off as chivalry." The tower was in sight now, "If you ask me, chivalry is bullshit. Men sometimes try to be 'chivalrous' and hold open a door for me -- which is great, don't get me wrong. But the problem comes in when some of those same guys will get ridiculously angry if a woman tries to hold open a door for them. Which is why I say that chivalry is bullshit. Men shouldn't be nice to women out of 'chivalry,' they should be nice to women because they are people. Just like women should be nice to men because they are people. Basically, people should just be fucking nice to other people because it makes the world less shitty."

Thor grinned at her, "The point you make strikes a chord with me. I often feel a fierce need to protect my Jane from those who would harm her. I should make myself aware of the details of the threat before I step in. Jane is one of the most intelligent people I know, and her wit and tongue are as sharp as any blade I have ever wielded."

"Right! Like if someone is insulting her work, you know that she can defend herself and tear them a new one. But if she was being threatened by some huge and freaky alien thing, she might not have the self defense skills or physical strength that you have to fight the bugger off. Which is okay, because if say, Sif was there, you would trust her physical strength and skill to protect Jane if you couldn't."

"This is verily true."

"This is why we work, Hammer Time. Your desire to protect Jane isn't sexist, because you would trust another woman with your same skills to do just as good a job. Your desire to protect Jane simply exists because you love her, and you know that her strengths lie somewhere other than fighting."

"Again, you speak of the truth." They were approaching the front doors of the tower now, and Thor reached to pull them open. "Would you allow me to hold the door for you?" He asked jokingly.

"Eh, why not?" She teased back, "After all, I did pay for dinner."

Thor laughed all the way through the lobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It means a lot to me that many of you have shared some of your personal struggles in the comments. Everyday sexism affects all of us in one way or another, regardless of gender. And to know what all you wonderful and amazing people make it through everyday helps me to figure out what to write about and address next.
> 
> Thank you for that.
> 
> And also, suggestions for new chapters are absolutely welcome! :)


End file.
